20.04.2023
i'll elaborate on what greatness is to me as the state of fully owning one's existence, overcoming limitations to the point where you can create yourself fully and that's the manifestation of will to power -- power over yourself, complete that would let you then inflict changes on reality and create values cause it'll just result naturally from the way you go about your existence; i have thoughts about how both ascetism and hedonism, romantism and rationalism are phases one has to go through to get there, they're all means to an and self-upbringing, indeed after nietzsche via ascetism you teach yourself to declutter your brain and by deprivation develop subtler, more sensitive intellectual and spiritual taste, and hedonism is a phase necessary to know your instincts and reject morality, but stopping there will lead you to stagnation regardless, just in different ways; and there's necessarily a phase of questioning to learn how to question and a phase of learning how to embrace by choice, and one has to be a cynic and an idealist to learn how to reject and demand better and learn how to trust oneself. nietzsche rightfully says that the state called the clear conscience is just having instincts that align with you and not going against them. self-creation not as in changing yourself by force but as in bringing out your deepest potential and becoming the fullest, healthiest, most creative and life-celebrating version of yourself.
i honestly think that apathy in individuals of true potential is a sign of exhaustion, boredom and poisoning with certain concepts; i think my disdain for politics as of rn while manifesting as extreme pragmatism is in fact exhaustion with pragmatism - a complete and utter exhaustion of trying to make rules for the society and divide resources et cetera, exhaustion with the noise that goes with it (...) so a temporary need for quiet existence without the noise that humans make when they try to find out what's good for them, and instead putting my ears out to hear subtler things like philosophy and spirituality (to the level my brain conceptualises it), and art, and intellectual stimulation by purer forms. really, don't you think it's interesting how in an individual of certain potential like me exhaustion with utilitarism may express as extreme utilitarism? nothing makes one moreso only concerned with what works than being tired of dealing with all the ways it does, could, and doesn't work, that you want to reject all of it and go only to the pure question of what works as to resolve, fix, not dwell into or hear about. what could make someone like me obssesed with the easiest way to fix or willing to accept whatever works than being tired of trying to engage with all the subtleties of how these things work? and nothing makes one more cynical than being exhausted of pessimism and seeking to avoid it. in a individual tired of pessimism assuming a cynical approach is the easiest, surest way to protect what within them is still hopeful, confident and certain from it. it's so the subtle parts of them and the ones that crave growth don't get involved with it - to move them into different, more remote spheres.
one of my hypotheses is that humans undergo entropy, cause of the negative experiences they face since birth and the nature of society which is to sew off parts of them and makes them adjust, with just how common it is for things that are complex to go wayward in nature, and the way upbringing in itself is making the child just settle on one set of behaviours and killing within themself all the others, cause of the entropic nature of the human psyche it is only "normal" for the human psyche to crave death. to weigh towards it. and there's so many ways this death is found - not always literal via suicide, these are extreme cases, but death by limitless indulgence and drowning in pleasures and stimulation, death by perfectionism (sacrificing self for an ideal which doesn't stem from self and is external), death via complete objectiveness, becoming just an observer and primarily observer and objective scientist studying self (that's something I do often), death by conformism, death by isolation... everyone has tendencies within themselves in which the ego seeks to die. the result of that kind of death is stagnation, and thoughtless existence until collapsion - the natural state of most humans since few have the vital element within them strong enough to resist the entropy that'll draw them away from the creative form of life and they'll get sidetracked towards some sort of mid-existence, dissolve in crowd and time - as usually in nature, there's very few ways for complex things to go "right" and endless possibilities they can go "wrong". self improvement is the parts that want to live within one's psyche - the vital, creative, curious, instinctual, subtle and desiring life as in continuing growth and achieving their full potential - defeating the element within them that wants to die, for within all humans there's also the instinct to live and grow, as is in all animals and plants, as much as there's the instinct to wither and die. this instinct is the part that craves happiness, it's the part that craves fulfilment, that wants to become better, greater, to realize and embody one's desires and ideals and inflict their will onto the world, to create just for creation and bc its nature is inherently creative; as much as your philosophy is about love, mine is about the constant war with death, or choosing life over death' constantly and constantly you defeat death within yourself. your history of growth is defeating the parts of you that wanted to die.
my paradigm doesn't really deal with morality much - it's not the most important sphere to me except when i want to deconstruct it - but things like rape likely result from existence being so low quality that it can only realise itself via destruction. a quality form of existence is inherently creative in that is craves great things and it takes pleasure in things like teaching. for that's both inflicting your will onto the world and creating. creating within others. by teaching, you make someone greater. they are now more developed and capable, and "deeper" than they were before, and may continue developing in creative ways off that. quality existence, vital existence, delights in it for it's a way to create net more greatness without losing any of its own or perhaps even more with multiplying it. this is kinda what I mean by inherently creative nature of the vital element - not only that it's creative as in can make art and etc but also that its natural desires are to make, better etc things, are to inflict its own greatness onto the world around including other people, it's an instinct for net improvement and for contributing to that improvement, it's something that element inherently wants, as I say an instinct, it's within its nature, it wants to live and the purest form of life is the will to power which is the will to grow and realise yourself onto the world. destruction can only be warranted if it pays off and leads to creating something greater and stronger. destruction of that tier just to experience animalistic level pleasure is a kind of degeneration. it'll never birth great things.
i think humanity naturally craves immortality cause the vital element within us wants to live on to see, do, experience, know etc more. legacy is what humans do in order to have a form of existence that continues to impact the world even after material death, although i think it's also normal to want to avoid material death and humanity should do more research in that direction. homo deus is an important part of - what i believe humans may evolve into if we take our further evolution into our own hands and become our own gods - when humanity and the human as a whole becomes god rather that idealised individuals like celebrities rn. when we become our own gods and decided that we can do anything we will be able to do anything as a species. transhumanism plays into the idea of homo deus heavily - overcoming limitations like material death or reproductive inequality, and for the better.